Self-Worth and Anxiety

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Sometimes, though, for the anxiety and panic sufferer, things may not be as joyous.  This does not have to be the case though.

If we become aware of the natural tendency that many of us share at times like these, we can have a much more enjoyable time.

What am I talking about?

I’m talking about the tendency to compare ourselves to our friends and family.  In other words, by listening to others talk about their lives we can sometimes set ourselves start comparing ourselves to others and sometimes feel down.

If you value your self-worth on the basis of your accomplishments then this tendency will become noticeable whenever you compare your career to others, if they appear to hold the upper hand in this regard.  Once we start to feel this way our anxiety increases.

The most important thing to realize is that your self-worth is not something that is relative, in other words, relative to others.  Rather, as humans, we all have equal self-worth and self-worth in reality is what you believe to be the case.

Again if you feel that external world dictates your worth then you will find yourself very competitive or feeling down when others appear to have accomplished more.

Of course this makes the assumption that the other person has had the same life experience that you had – if you believe you should compare your self-worth to that of others. 

In reality you know that this is not realistic.  We each have different life experiences. So when you think about it, comparing yourself to others in never a great scenario.

Instead what you need to recognize is that you are an individual.  We all have equal self-worth, but sometimes society can leave us with the perception that we need to compete in a rat race of competition. 

Whether we compare our self-worth to others depends entirely on a choice.  The choice is as simple as asking this question: Am I going to compare my self-worth to others or recognize that I’m equal to other people in this regard?

Instead if you can approach gatherings with relatives and friends by going in knowing we are all diverse, have diverse backgrounds and obviously some may have accomplished more than us in the material sense, you can prepare in advance and have a chance to orient your self-worth and remind yourself that self-worth is not relative to your career or accomplishments, we are all equal in that sense.

I have a simple suggestion you can try: That is to analyze your thoughts for cognitive distortions if you start feeling anxiety during social gatherings this season.  If you scroll below you can access a list of cognitive distortions which you can use to analyze your thoughts and then substitute in their place more realistic and happier ones.