Detached Anxiety: Detachment for anxiety

Note: You can also print this document in Adobe PDF format by clicking  here. (It requires Adobe Reader which you can obtain for free here.)

One of the things I discovered some time ago was how to detach from a negative situation and how absolutely freeing this could be.  I think the two words “anxiety detached” are apt.

Allow me to provide an analogy…

Imagine you are at the movie theatre and watching a really scary movie.  You come to an extremely tense scene in the movie.  You feel your heart racing, your anxiety levels increasing, your hands are sweaty.  Suddenly… you have the realization that this is just a movie, and your anxiety level decreases.  I remember when I was younger and watching scary movies I learned to do this process.  It helped a lot with those tense scenes.

Unfortunately, however, most of us do not utilize this tendency in our day-to-day lives.  But we can.  Often everyday stressful situations, e.g. at work, compound on each other and our stress levels increase.

I would encourage you to learn how to detach from a negative situation.  Even if it’s just for a minute or two.  You can experience immediate relief.

Let’s take any circumstance in your life that you want relief from.  You feel yourself getting worked up.  Suddenly you are ready to respond with an emotion or action because of your emotions.  Instead just stop what you are doing.  Instead take a time-out.  Once you practice this for a while you will learn that you can do this more and more in your life.  It works across a variety of situations.

A Lesson from Aviation

Dr. Lloyd Richmond, Psychologist, provides a wonderful example of a pilot in charge of flying an aircraft [called the pilot in command (PIC)].1 All pilot training involves coping with equipment failures and other emergencies. Emergencies can happen no matter how well-prepared and competent the pilot may be.

When an emergency occurs, physiological changes resulting from the threat to life favor strong surges of energy in the large muscles, and they foster a narrow focus of attention on the “blood rage” necessary for survival.

In a crisis, however, a pilot needs precise hand and foot movements—not gross physical strength—and he or she needs clear thinking—not the tunnel vision of rage. Consequently, the “natural” survival skills triggered by an emergency can actually contribute to a pilot losing control of the aircraft.

Therefore, in order to manage emotional arousal in an emergency, a pilot—or any person—needs a third option, a sort of “unnatural” option.  Neither fleeing the problem, nor fighting it. This allows one to take command of it. 

Like the pilot in an emergency, a time-out allows a person to be “pilot in command” of his or her body rather than being controlled by his/her physiology.

Start by just practicing this suggestion for a minute or two and gradually increase the timeframe.  Just setting the intention to do this can start the process.  Like riding a bike, once you actually do it you will get better and better. Just remember my analogy of the movie when you encounter a situation.

This is one more technique to add to your anxiety toolkit.  For quick recall memorize it as the “anxiety detached” technique.